Shelley Frost suffered one of the most devastating losses that any person can experience when she gave birth to her stillborn daughter, Saylor Jayne, in July.
In an interview with Wales Online, the 27-year-old from Gilfach Goch, Wales, honored her daughter’s short life while reminding other grieving parents that they can find support through charities like Sands, which provides resources to families of stillborn children.
“My life will never be the same and she will always be my baby. Saylor was stillborn but still born,” Frost said.
Back in July, Frost said she had just celebrated her baby shower, and Saylor’s room was all ready for her arrival. She was 40 weeks pregnant and completely in love with her unborn daughter.
But when she began going into labor at home, she said she had a sense that something was wrong. Her mother took her to the Princess of Wales Hospital in Bridgend where she soon received bad news, according to the report.
“I got there and told them something was wrong so they got the heart monitor and I could tell straight away something was wrong,” Frost remembered. “I couldn’t hear anything. The midwife then said she’ll be back and left, and I turned to my mother and said, ‘She’s gone.’”
After being moved into a private room, she said a doctor came in and told her the heartbreaking news: Her daughter had died. Frost said she felt “numb” with shock.
Her labor took about 20 minutes and Saylor was born dead. A nurse placed the baby in her mother’s arms, and Frost said her daughter looked “perfect.”
“I remember being pregnant and couldn’t wait to hear her first cry, and that didn’t happen. It was the worst and best day of my life, I gave birth to my baby and lost her,” she told the news outlet.
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But the worst was not over. A few minutes later, Frost herself was rushed into intensive care after doctors discovered that her organs were not functioning properly. Eventually, they saved her life, but she said she nearly died, too, the report continues.
Frost said she later learned that she had been suffering from HELLP, a rare pregnancy disorder that causes blood clotting and impedes liver function.
“When it was time to leave the hospital it was soul crushing. I should have been walking out with my baby but instead I was carrying a memory box. I will never forget the walk down the hallway, it felt so long, like I was walking for miles,” she remembered.
Months later, Frost said life is still difficult without her daughter.
“I don’t think I have grieved yet. I have cried many times and missing the things that I should have been doing,” she said. “I feel guilty for doing things. My life has changed so much but is still the same, I feel like I’m lost in a big world I don’t know what to do day to day.”
Although the loss has been devastating, Frost said her family has been supportive. She also found comfort in Sands, an organization that provides bereavement care, support groups and other resources for families who have lost stillborn children. She and her family recently participated in a charity run to raise awareness and money for the organization.
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